Special

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Everyone thinks they’re special but you really are
Like the hembra and the macho bongos
Our hearts beat together and make beautiful percussion
You really are
A shining light
I can see from afar
Deep in the darkness
And everything they think you are crazy for believing in
And for every time they tried to control you with hatred
And for everyone who still doesn’t “get” you
I do
And I think you’re special. 

Happy Valentine’s Day from Shutyamouthandcallmeugly! 

-SMN

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Keep the Crown

As a tribute to self love for Valentines day and an awakening to men of color for Black History Month…
This post is courtesy of my baby sister, Cheyenne. 

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Dear dads, dear future boyfriend who will screw up dear brother and dear man. Whether she be female, an addiction, or and illusion.  You made me feel rich although I hadn’t a dime made me feel voluptuous although I hadnt a C or D cup in the dresser. Made me feel like a sky scraper although I’m only five feet tall.  You made me feel royal although my blood line isnt pure at all. But now as I watch you with her smile and laugh eyes widen and lips curl that crown you had placed so perfectly on my head tips. It goes timber as gravity pulls it almost closer to her. I dont know how.I wont let it because it was me not you who truly knows my worth so I will defy gravity and take back my crown and place it ever so perfectly on my head. You cant touch it nor he or she because I will only give it to me. I’ ll change in body and mind i’ll change in lessons and plans but my crown will never move it will never fall its here now. The illusion of you is gone the journey to the past has ended. And now my crown wont be an illusion just the real thing.As you stand there and slip away.

By : Cheyenne Nickens (age 14)

Stop in the Name of Love!

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So I literally jumped out of my bed this morning. I had a dream that disturbed me. An old neighborhood friend of mine told me to go for a ride with her. When we got in the car she was dressed in all black and she was listening to an old Styles P track. For those who don’t know, Styles P is always doing some sort of crime in his music. He gets arrested in every other verse.

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Anyway,  she goes on to tell me she is going to do a drive by at 10pm. When I glance at the clock on the dashboard its 9:38. Now what’s crazy is,  I wasn’t alarmed at all. I said “ok.” Then I turned the volume up. I literally was thinking I had 22 minutes to chill with my friend before she committed her crime! What’s interesting is my subconscious cognitive perception of time and relativity is the same as my conscious! With 22 minutes to clock in, and 8 minutes to get to work, I will stop for gas AND coffee!! I digress!!

So as we’re driving,  we’re ambushed by police! They must have tapped the car ( this was what I was thinking in the dream.)

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I say “YO?! WHERE THE EXTRA BURNER AT?!!!!!” (Burner means gun)

Now please understand I grew up in a “hood.” However,  I went to private school and was notorious for being the bourgeois/uppity sheltered kid.  Even though some of my associates were bona fide crime lords, I still had to be in the house when the street lights came on! So if this wasn’t a dream,  I wouldn’t have asked for a piece (piece means gun)…I would have cried.

So my friend (who was always a bad influence by the way) grabs a loaded shot gun from under the seat of the car and hands it to me. I hold it out the window and start shooting effortlessly.  Pop! Pow! Bullet!  Bullet! The cop cars are spinning out of control and flying into the air. Like a scene from “Bad Boys”, we hop out the whip (whip means car.)

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We start walking down the street slowly to examine the damage.  As I’m walking, some shots are fired. I duck down and shoot back from behind a tree. All of a sudden,  a building grows around us from the ground. Like a flower! A building sprouts from the ground!  We start being attacked in drones of assailants. They’re climbing the ceiling! There are so many of them that they look like insects.

Some of the faces of the insect people were familiar.  People I’ve seen in passing.  Some were old co-workers from high school.  I even saw a Taylor Swift shooting at me! I blast them! Then I hear a voice from behind me. He taps my shoulder. His hands are ice cold in the height of summer.  He says, “Stop.” I can’t see his face. He shakes his head from side to side.  He raises his gat (gat means gun) and when he does, the tatoo on his hand says “Cupid”. Then everything goes black.  Pop!

Now from a psychosomatic perspective, I know two things about dreams:
1. They are never literal
2. You cannot see yourself die in a dream.  Your body will wake itself up as a defense mechanism. 

So I know Cupid didn’t kill me in the dream. Maybe ‘love’ fought for me. Maybe ‘love’ forced me to surrender. Maybe I’m just crazy!

Send me your comments!

Tell me about your crazy dreams!

Get ready for a packed month of posts for Black History and Valentine’s Day!

-SMN