Shut Ya Mouth and Pray -The Journey

image

Today I almost forgot.  I run around a lot. Always trying to squeeze everything in. It’s necessary and it’s important. I love the feeling at the end of the day that I did everything I am capable of for that day.

I have to take a moment and reflect on the tremendous, tumultuous, joyous, romance filled, cinematic, and dramatic journey I’ve taken. I did not take that journey alone. I have a good, patient, supportive, strong minded, wonderful, challenging, friend and husband. I have always rushed around trying to keep up or catch up. I now have a life partner to help me take the lead.

Father,
We take the time today to say thank you for our friends, lovers, and loved ones who keep us company on our journey. We thank you for giving us a life with purpose. We shower You with gratitude. We ask that you help us reach our full potential. We thank you in advance for the increase you are about to touch our lives with.
Amen

By:SML

Advertisements

Jitters

I looked into my soul and you were there
Chilling
Cruising as you would say
You were sorting through old bullshit and heartache and you were tossing it away
You were shoveling a pathway for yourself
Something safe for you to travel on
Something you couldn’t slip on
Something that couldn’t muddy your best boots
You sprinkled love so the ice wouldn’t freeze and make it too dangerous to get to me
You plowed through the fear and doubt, even the stuff you caused.
You were there.
When I reach for you, your body is warm.
Your breaths are deep and steady.
You are away tucked neatly in a space I cannot get to
Tucked away where I can only dream of finding the thoughts that make you cry or wake you up in cold sweats
You are away
Chilling in my soul.
Waiting for me to understand
While I wait for you to speak, to crumble, to be vulnerable or to be a shell of yourself
Not forever
Just for now
As I search for you
You soul search within me
Hiding away
I scream to be seen
You close your eyes
We stand with our hearts glowing and bursting in our chests like a neon “open” sign in a store window.

Goodnight my love

By Shaun Nickens

image

Before Its Over…(ShutYaMouthAndPray)

wpid-2015-10-25-22.08.52.png.pngAlthough it may seem cliché. I wanted to use the last 5 minutes of Sunday’s ShutYaMouthAndPray to be thankful. We often complain and are sometimes dissatisfied with aspects of our lives that are unsatisfactory to us but would be great blessings to someone else. Be grateful for your employment, be grateful for your hooptie, be grateful for your loved ones (even the ones who get on your nerves.) Each day will present new challenges, you just have to recognize what they are and rise to them.

Bless!

Machine Mom

image

Off work at 2am. In bed at 3am. Up with the kids at 6am. I don’t even bother with coffee anymore. Thank God my household is run by a team effort. My fiancée is very active as a parent. We push ourselves and each other. The question still remains: What did you do for yourself today??? #30dayselfesteemchallenge

image

While the kids were at school, I ran to Denny’s and had some tea with lemon and honey (I have this irritating cough.) Sitting there I thought about the waiters and the waitresses. What landed them here? Are they budding entrepreneurs? Is this step one or level one to this great designer plan of their lives? Maybe one of them or all of them wanted this. Maybe they want to serve, to smile for a living,  to provide people with sustenance. Maybe it feels good to calm my cough. Maybe it feels good to sit beside the elderly and assist them in reading the small print on the menu. Maybe this is it. Maybe that’s okay.

Respect the Process

image

I saw a good friend of mine a couple days ago. She had surgery on her knee recently and she is currently undergoing physical therapy. She’s on disability and recouping, getting back to normal. She’s getting stronger and she has her own signature walk that shows the confidence in her knee. It’s not a limp. It’s a walk that says I am in the process of being better. People ask, “What the hell happened to you?” She simply responds, “I had surgery but I’m okay.” She acknowledges her past, admits that she is still damaged, and claims her recovery.

I once heard a TD Jakes sermon when he said, no one would ever buy tickets to hear a musician play the scales. It’s not impressive. *People want to hear the finished product. The process is not alluring. There is no decadence in process and procedure and patience. It’s hard and annoying to perfect something or attempt to perfect something.

People like instant gratification.

One of my favorite quotes from Lauryn Hill Unplugged is:

image

I am a blogger and I am on Twitter mainly for the purpose of promoting the blog. Sometimes I can find writing competitions or some decent spoken word videos. YouTube is great for tutorials on EVERYTHING. Of course there are benefits to social media. However, I think there are a lot of downfalls to it as well. Children are bullied, ADULTS are bullied, and we are surrounded by people who only show/post/bulls*it the best parts of themselves and their lives. There was a time when you would meet someone in school, you’d graduate and never see them again. You’d meet someone at work, change jobs and never see that person again. You weren’t a bad person. They weren’t bad people. Life happened. Now with social media, people from your past post their new cars and titles and model children and filtered bodies every day. . .all day. Does that affect you? Does it make you feel inferior? 

image

Huffington post

I’ve been poisoned by socially acceptable standards of beauty predicated by celebrities. I find myself comparing and contrasting. It’s dumb because these people have teams and an entourage to maintain and enhance both their looks and their brand. I have aczone, blistex, shea butter, and some argan oil. Is that an excuse? Aren’t some of them just naturally drop dead gorgeous?

The obsession just inhibits my own process. As a writer and a poet, I have to be able to tap into the ugliness of people. I have to touch them in the places they try to hide. I have to expose that. I have to marvel in the unloved parts. Being obsessed with what society says I’m supposed to be is keeping me captive in mediocrity.

Get a signature walk. Strap on a brace of confidence. Deal with the ugly parts of yourself. Accept those things. Love them up. Decide what you want out of life and then decide when you’re going to get it, not how. Trust the way you would want to be trusted. Love the way you would want to be loved. Get stronger. Don’t limp but its okay to broadcast your process. Maybe people will be more compassionate. I like when kids stand for the pregnant lady on the train. I like when people open doors for the elderly. It proves they respect the process. Respect the processes of others. Respect your own process. See you in the winners circle.

By:Shaun Nickens

To hear the TD Jakes sermon please click the following link:

Vanity Piece

I don’t need to smell like Indian Fruit incense, wear backpacks, walk instead of drive, or have some sort of visible plight to be a poet
I can straighten my hair, drive a high end car, eat caviar every night with a glass of dry red wine and be authentic.
A poet is a prince or princess ordained by explanation of circumstance
Ordained by the ability to paint with words
Ordained by articulation
Ordained and maintained by the exercise of mental physique
They are strained and stressed by the mundane
A poet is irritated by imbeciles decked out and camouflaged by struggle.
Loved
A poet is favored by the gods of resilience and chosen by God to tell a story
A story that brings tears
A story that causes laughter
A story that strengthens
A poet is the shit
A poet doesn’t know how great they are until they see others struggle to do what they do effortlessly
A poet eases others into their heart and absorbs their pain

I am a poet

By Shaun Nickens

image

If You Slack You’ll Lack

“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.
-Matthew 7:15

I had someone once say to me, ” I wouldn’t lie. I am a God-fearing woman.”
I bet you can guess what happened after that! They proceeded to lie to me. Some people don’t serve the same Master you do. Some people say things like that and then pray for forgiveness because their actions are malicious and feed into a part of their nature that they thought they buried.

Know in your heart that you have fear, respect and awe for something greater than yourself. Know what you will and will not tolerate. These things are easy to say and extremely challenging to execute. People who know me are probably thinking, “Shaun says all these motivational things or poetic things but she has problems too.” They would be right!! I have tons of things I imagined differently. They will only become “problems” if I give up. I am an emotional,  sensitive, opinionated, frustrated wreck from time to time. What I will tell you is this ship doesn’t sink!

Today I went out in the sunshine and ran. While in the park following the track I was thinking. Do you remember Grimms Little Red Riding Hood? She was devoured because she strayed from her path. She was distracted by something pretty (flowers), someone seemingly harmless (the wolf) and all of a sudden she forgot what she was supposed to be doing!

image

There are things you have to do to counteract anything that doesn’t coincide with your desires and the Creator’s will. You know exactly what those things are. If you slip up you will flip out! You may not have your  “crazy moment” as often as I do but it will happen. If you slack, you will lack the things you really really want in this life.

My pastor, Reverend Henry Simmons says, “God will answer all of your prayers. It is either Yes, No, or Wait.”

image

That reminds me of a stop light. Don’t run that light!! The yellow isn’t “wait”  but its even better. It’s CAUTION, SLOW DOWN. Just wait for direction.
There are ramifications for being disobedient. Most of us survive those ramifications and some of us do not. Don’t take that gamble.

Recognize the fangs of wolves who have everything to gain from your loss! Finally, key into your survival instincts.

“Alonzo Harris: To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.”
-Training Day

Try your best to be resilient. Some of the women in my circle are strong and superior to suffering because they refuse to be a victim! They’re tough as nails. That doesn’t mean they don’t cry or vent but they are classy and controlled at least 72% of the time!

Be aware and be courageous. Know you will have slips. Just try your best not to fall and stay down.

By:SMN

image