Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered, but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall.-Proverbs 28:18
I think you’re doing great…but what do I know? Seriously, these are tough times.
Do you remember when Covid-19 got real for us? March 2020. I had my 35th birthday. It was beautiful, humble, and my husband planned it perfectly. Fresh haircut and some blond highlights. I saw friends and family. I ate my favorite foods and had wonderful conversations. My mother bought me a gorgeous dress. Everything that sometimes validates us in our human form, was accounted for.
Except, that wasn’t everything that mattered. A week later God said, “Sit down, be still, be with your family, and focus.” Collectively we all did. We soon realized (I think), our plans were derailed and maybe that was a good thing. I believe we became more intentional with our friends. We have a higher regard for life (and death.) Some have been desensitized to mortality and some of us have been more severely impacted. No matter what side of the fence you stand on, we are still divided while all standing on the same ground.
This is not a post about Covid-19. This is about confidence and identity. This past year may have changed you and taken some things away from you. However, I think you’re doing great. Only you know what eco friendly, non-plastic bags you’re carrying. Only you know the contents and why those things still burden you or strip away at you. You can conquer that. You are not the summation of those faults. You’re great!
I tell my kids: Integrity is what you do when no one is watching you. It is a core value. That is a simple definition. It it not an easy practice to execute.
Whatever is challenging you right now, isn’t over. You have more work to do. You haven’t given up. You’re doing great. Let that be what ignites your next move and makes you grateful for your next breath. You are loved.
“Never explain- Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.”~Elbert Hubbard
I have always been a person who sees the good in people (most of the time.) I am also someone strangers sometimes feel comfortable enough to confide in. These attributes can be seen as liabilities because there are some who will take advantage of a kind heart. There are those who will exaggerate and manipulate you and assume you are weak. Silence and showing restraint in times where you could justifiably “clap back”, build character. Maintaining who you are, what your moral compass points to and raising the bar by showing the height of your integrity will be challenging but it is not impossible.
I come from a bloodline (both maternal and paternal) of people who need to be right. Actually, I come from a bloodline of people who believe wholeheartedly they are right about almost everything 97% of the time. This is hazardous. I have noticed as I age, I have aunts, mentors, etc who have mastered meditation, prayer and most importantly…silence.
“Silence is gold as long as it is necessary”-Unknown
I believe that there are moments of silence that are essential for peace. Whose peace, Shaun? Thank you for asking. It depends on the situation. If you have been deceived or betrayed, silence may be the preventative resolution for rage. You shouldn’t be saying anything that will ignite feelings of resentment and cause you to behave as a supporting character as opposed to the character you’ve worked so long to develop…The Star.
Silence sets up an environment of transparency and may heighten senses that would have been clouded by noise. In silence I was able to recognize the malicious actions of someone I thought was genuine. I was able to recognize the face of an enemy and place myself in a stance of security and blind force because it wasn’t necessary for me to do anything specific to show the fallacious nature of worthless accusations. Those who had been exposed to me, even if only for a short while, knew the truth and laughed at the adversary. The old cliché is true, the truth speaks for itself.
A friend of mine had a rant the other day and it was so beautiful in its raw nature and its unapologetic delivery. It was authentic and the premise of it was, be consistent in your positive patterns of behavior. As he would say, “I ain’t convincing nobody of s&%t anymore.” Frankly, you shouldn’t have to. Arrogance has no place to stay in a house of self-discipline. If you’re a dope parent, wife, business person, employee, OR JUST EARTHLING all you have to do is be that person as opposed to playing that role. If your integrity is challenged…