Day 10- Evaluate where you are. What did you want to be when you grew up? What are you doing? Today tap into your ability to dream and hone in on that childhood creativity that inspired you at a time. It may have even inspired others. What makes you feel good? What healthy addiction do you have?
When I was young I wanted to sing. I was in the children’s choir at 3! I sang in high school. I auditioned for the vocal program by singing the Star Spangled Banner.
Today I am in customer service (hold your applause.) I do freelance writing and editing on the side. Service pays the bills. The pen, paper, computer and phone deliver the expressions of my soul. Public speaking makes me feel good. I connect with others. My heart is a sponge that absorbs the emotions of others. Sometimes it’s a good thing. Sometimes it isn’t.
My new healthy addiction is steam and sweat. That sounds weird. I like steam rooms, saunas, hot showers, warm baths, and extreme work out classes when you come out drenched. I like the act of physically excreting impurities and then the fresh relaxed feeling you have afterwards.
I reached into the bottom cabinet to hide some reduced fat Oreos from myself (I’ve been “dieting.”) I looked to my right while putting away some other items and literally fell on my ass in fear. There seemed to be something unfamiliar in the darkness. Thinking a strange assailant was in my home, I jump up to my feet in a right lead fighting stance.
Why isn’t the invader moving?
I quickly realized it was an overflowing laundry bag that never made it to the trunk of my car. Accepting the fact that I am going completely bats*$t crazy I decided to grab a snack, a blanket and hit the Netflix on my Roku.
More importantly I knew it was time to write and let out some of these voices in my head.
Time seems to be doing some sinister things. I am turning 30 in less than a month. Although I am really proud of some of my accomplishments I have to admit I am light years away from where I would like to be. I say light years because it relates to distance not time. In some instances, I think success has to do with distance as opposed to time. It is distance not time between your cubicle and an actual office. I say that because it is my belief that whatever boundaries have been placed before you can be demolished with strategy.
More important than strategy is the health of your heart and mind while you exercise the patience and FORTITUDE to actually make it!
When I was in school a good friend of mine took the clock out of her dorm room and put away her watches. I dont remember how long this lasted but I remember asking about it. At the time she was in a strenuous Health Science program. To my knowledge she was doing really well in school. She simply looked up at me and said, ” I am tired of time. I am sick of always racing the clock. I am on strike.” Now…
…obviously we know the old adage “time waits for no man” but this personal revolution made my friend feel better. I completely understand.
I was on the parkway the other night coming home from work.
RIPPLE RIPPLE RIPPLE
“Oh man, who’s car is that? That sounds terrible.”
As the cars sped past me I learned the depressing truth.
It was my car.
It was 1am.
There was no way I was waiting for AAA so I drove 10-15 miles an hour all the way home. I noticed stores I have never seen before. I was more cautious. I was more focused. I was literally forced to slow down.
Have you ever had a loved one in the hospital? Every moment you can hold their hand is a blessing. You hang on every update from the medical staff. Uncertainty has a way of making time not only stand still but lay down in a fetal position.
My favorite time of day is late at night (right about now) when everything is quiet. There are no deadlines and appointments to keep. It is just me, a blanket and my words. Like the guys you see walking down the street or in the subway just rapping to themselves out loud. You grab your purse tighter and you think, ” He’s bats*$t crazy!”
Maybe it’s you with all your schedules to keep, trying to race time…
When I was young my mother would bake from time to time. Sometimes I would get so excited. She would give me the bowl to lick the batter while I waited for the cake to bake. I would sit contentedly with my finger and my spoon in and out of the Tupperware. I’d be wrapped in a pink comforter, watching a good movie, with my bowl. Oftentimes, by the time the cake was ready I didn’t want it anymore. I was content with what I already received.
The treat that was given to hold me over became better than what I anticipated. I started to anticipate the batter and the bowl. I started to look forward to the process more than the finished product.
When did you stop enjoying the process? When did you become addicted to instant gratification? Don’t shake your head with that “no, not me” look. Yes, you! Why do you want the glorious rewards of your future TODAY?
What about dinner? What about finishing the meal God has prepared to sustain you and make you stronger, before you dive into desert? Thank Him for giving you a bowl to lick. Be thankful for the patience the process will instill in you.
Lick the bowl and enjoy it! The struggle is yours and specifically designed to give you the tasty tomorrow you are craving.