Jitters

I looked into my soul and you were there
Chilling
Cruising as you would say
You were sorting through old bullshit and heartache and you were tossing it away
You were shoveling a pathway for yourself
Something safe for you to travel on
Something you couldn’t slip on
Something that couldn’t muddy your best boots
You sprinkled love so the ice wouldn’t freeze and make it too dangerous to get to me
You plowed through the fear and doubt, even the stuff you caused.
You were there.
When I reach for you, your body is warm.
Your breaths are deep and steady.
You are away tucked neatly in a space I cannot get to
Tucked away where I can only dream of finding the thoughts that make you cry or wake you up in cold sweats
You are away
Chilling in my soul.
Waiting for me to understand
While I wait for you to speak, to crumble, to be vulnerable or to be a shell of yourself
Not forever
Just for now
As I search for you
You soul search within me
Hiding away
I scream to be seen
You close your eyes
We stand with our hearts glowing and bursting in our chests like a neon “open” sign in a store window.

Goodnight my love

By Shaun Nickens

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