I was raised in a household with my mother and father. My parents were married for 20 years before they called it quits. They conceived 3 children.. all girls. One of the things my father instilled in me the idea of courtship.
Now don’t get me wrong. My father is far from traditional. However, he believed you can court a woman regardless of your economic status. In fact he always said, “Your heart doesn’t know status and circumstances. ” On his first date with my mother, they had pizza and brew. That may not seem exciting but he must have done something right! Obviously my mother doesn’t have much to say about it now. She once disclosed how much she laughed during that date and how comfortable she felt.
I have a former associate who makes a six figure salary. At the time he was in his early twenties. He drove a Mercedes. He lived with parents so no money spent on rent. No student loans. No major debt. During a conversation about contemporary courtship he said he takes his first dates to McDonald’s. You can view that as frugal but his defense was based on his desire to test the genuineness of his prospective partner. There would be no second date if you had a problem with McDonald’s and you couldn’t just be happy with his company.
In this economic climate most men do not have what I like to call “In the Meantime Money.” Gas is 4.05 a gallon! He can’t afford to spend hundreds of dollars on a woman he may have absolutely nothing in common with! Ladies shouldn’t either. Wear modest clothing, do your own hair, drive your own car and meet him at the agreed venue. Trust your personality to be the impressive part of the date. Meet at a library so you can subtly see if he can read! If you like to work out, get him a guest pass at your gym. He/she is probably allergic to the cologne or perfume you were going to wear anyway. This is the time to be yourself! If things progress, you’ll have to take off the bells and whistles at some point anyway.
Finally, let’s be honest. Some of you only want to be wined and dined because it will make you feel better about entering the bedroom. Dropping your draws for dinners or dollas does not prove you’re a lady! Restraint does. You’re not fooling anyone…especially him. You can be labeled for any reason. You might as well try listening to your heart and following your intuition with discretion and maturity.
Save your “In the Meantime Money” and tell the cashier ShutYaMouthAndCallMeUgly said to supersize it! 🙂