“Insane in the Membrane (Insane in the Brain!)” {How to handle PMS without driving your man crazy}

” Who you tryin’ 

to get crazy with Ese?

Don’t you know I’m loco”

 ~Cypress Hill-Insane In The Membrane

It’s that time of the month.  You’re crying while watching the part in “Set It Off” when Cleo got shot (if you’re too young to know “Set It Off” just think of the part in “Training Day” when Alonzo got shot by the Russians…its essentially the same scene.) You are eating McDoubles like Skittles.  No one understands you. You’re having trouble concentrating.  Clothes aren’t fitting quite right. You’re tired of washing the same Tupperware so you throw it away.  You’re exhausted.  There’s a pimple on your face that you just named and printed a birth certificate for.  You have officially lost your mind!  The problem is, this happens every month!

Now these kinds of antics are acceptable when you are the only person who is expected to deal with yourself.  If you’re like me, you probably think you don’t suffer from PMS.  If that’s the case, do me a favor…ask your significant other if you suffer from PMS.

While he’s rolling on the floor laughing his behind off and simultaneously calling his friends, let’s discuss what PMS is WITHOUT GETTING TOO GRAPHIC  and losing my male readers!

  •             Your reproductive system will repeat a cycle controlled by hormones.
  •             This will happen every 28 days, on average.
  •              5-7 days before your menstruation begins, you will lose all logic and temperance.
  •              Scientists are still researching why this occurs but they are certain it is related to hormonal shifts. (Duh!)

I actually become a real life sweet and sour patch kid while I’m PMS’ing.  So being that this is something you don’t have a lot of control over, how can you keep your man happy during this time?

  1. Filter: Think before you speak.  Say something to yourself before you say it to him.
  2. Listen: Only answer questions if you’re asked.  Don’t build conversational construct to create what you want to hear.  Listen to what he is actually saying.
  3. Evaluate: Save “heavy” discussions (religion, future plans, whether he likes your momma) for another time.
  4. Appreciate:  Don’t be offended by the classic, “Is it that time of the month?” statement.  Appreciate the fact that he is trying to understand your feelings and emotions.  He’s just trying to prepare himself!

Being a woman is difficult.  From a contemporary standpoint, our roles and responsibilities have changed.  The last time I checked the statistics, we’ve made up approximately  57% of colleges since the year 2000.  We’re getting and holding jobs but still fighting for equal wages.  According to the last census, 84% of custodial parents are mothers.  We’ve got a lot to deal with so when we are particularly irritable, we may not want to have to excuse our hormonal imbalances.  The fact remains these imbalances are relevant and they can affect our loved ones.  In some cases, 3% to 8% of women suffer from PMDD which is a disorder even more severe (I’m sure my hypochondriac readers are searching on Google right now.)  If you’re feeling a little nutty, embrace it.  Acceptance is the first step to change!

I’M SURE I’ve pissed off a few feminists.  Feel free to comment or you can ShutYaMouthAndCallMeUgly 😉

Follow us on Twitter @ ShutYaMouthNow

3 thoughts on ““Insane in the Membrane (Insane in the Brain!)” {How to handle PMS without driving your man crazy}

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